


Out of my league

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chubby Castiel, Drunken Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Personal Trainer Dean, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:11:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7148078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas doesn't mind going home with Sam to see his family from time to time. He only tries to make sure Sam's older brother isn't going to be there. It's not every time he's that lucky though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too much

“Hey, Cas, you still coming over this weekend?” Sam talked quietly from across the table in the library. They were both working hard, trying to finish a paper that was due this Friday.

“Sure, why?” Cas answered as he flicked his tongue stud between his teeth in concentration and made a note in his book of something he found useful.

“Just wanted to check. Let me know if something comes up, yeah?” He asked and Cas thought it was a little strange how Sam felt he needed to assure himself he was coming over. It wasn’t like Cas had anywhere else to be, with his parents in a different state and that he was living in a dorm room with a guy he didn’t particularly get along with.

Cas had moved there because this university had the best combinations of programs which fit into what he wanted to study. It wasn’t easy to juggle the different classes, but Cas was interested in both evolution and religion and he was determined on making it work somehow. His friends never let the chance go of mocking him for his ironic choice.

After moving there he had become friends with Sam who had probably started out feeling sorry for him being there all alone, but that was okay. They were friends now and Cas didn’t care how that came to happen. He was just happy he had a friend like Sam.

“Okay, bring a toothbrush and sweatpants so you can stay over. Mum is making dinner and she asked if you wanted to stay.”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. No one wants you to go back to your dorm where your roommate is most likely passed out on the floor or something.” Sam chuckled.

Cas rolled his eyes but thanked Sam for the invitation. Cas had been staying with Sam regularly on the weekends. He lived one hour drive off campus so it was kind of hard getting a bus when they finally decided to wrap it up, so the easiest was for him to stay there.

Since Cas liked Sam’s family so much and they seemed to like him it had worked out pretty well. It was only one thing making Cas a little wary of going there, and that was Sam’s older brother. The man wasn’t living at home. He had his job and apartment on the west coast and wasn’t home all the time, but when he was… god, Cas went from this snarky guy, to a stammering mess.

Dean was sex on legs. Bowed legs even. First off he had a great body, he worked as a personal trainer and looked the part. Cas had barely been able to look away from him the entirety of the first time he met him. It was a really bad weekend for him. After that he always said no to coming with Sam whenever he knew Dean would be there.

Cas might look carefree with his piercings, ruffled hair and colored sweaters, but faced with a hot guy like Dean, Cas was at a loss. Dean was all over the radar and Cas heard the alarm blaring in his head telling him to get the hell away before he embarrassed himself further.

The problem was that Dean was such a sweet guy . He talked to everybody. Treated Sam with so much love and protectiveness any good brother would do. He had even showed up on campus a few times just to tell Sam he had arrived and wanted them to drive home together.

Sam clearly looked up to his brother and who could blame him. He was everything anyone would ever want.

It didn’t occur to Cas to ask if Dean would be there because whenever he was expected home Sam would talk about it the entire week. He would tell Cas how he had talked to his brother on the phone and that he had gotten help with some homework or that they had stayed on the phone while they watched a movie together.

Cas told himself he was only jealous because he didn’t have that close relationships with his own brother. In truth he couldn’t stop thinking about the too good looking man with great hair, green sparkling eyes and ahh, that body.

So Sam hadn’t been talking about his brother at all that week, apart from his usual rambling about a snapchat here and a message there and in Cas mind that was safe.

 

It was safe too. At least for a while. They came home to Sam’s parent’s house where Mary greeted them both with hugs and John grunted from his chair in the living room. They both put their stuff into their rooms, Mary usually made up the guestroom for Cas and he always felt a little bad that she went through the extra trouble for him. She insisted that she enjoyed having someone to spoil, now that her sons had moved out. At least he was able to make up for it with offering to help out in the kitchen.

She was more than happy to let him help out and made him prepare the salad while Sam was bugged into setting the table. Mary went on and on about how they were at school, then her job as a teacher in kindergarten. It wasn’t until a car pulled up by the house that Mary squeaked in excitement.

“Dean’s here.” She announced with a wide grin that resembled Sam’s when he was happy about something and Cas’ stomach dropped.

This wasn’t happening! He couldn’t be there for the entire weekend while Dean was there too. The guy would eventually notice how strange he acted and Cas would be forced to tell him. In addition to his stupid crush, he felt so inadequate next to the brothers. Dean was of course the good looking man he always was and Sam was really tall, handsome and lean as well. Cas on the other hand was just on the wrong side of chubby with a jiggly belly and soft edges all over his body. He swallowed hard and stayed focused on the salad while the rest of the family greeted Dean in the doorway into the kitchen, with loud enthusiasm.

“Dean, you remember my friend Cas?” Sam said after a while and Cas felt his entire frame go tense. He turned around slowly, only because he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder. He stared wide eyed up into green amused eyes that flickered over his body from head to toe until they settled on his eyes. Cas tugged nervously on his shirt. It had been a few months since last time. Dean hadn't changed much. If he had he looked even better now than ever.

“Yea, ‘course I do.” He said with a friendly slap on his shoulder. “How’r you doing?” He asked.

“Uh. I’m fine.” Cas nodded and gained a confused look from Sam while Dean just smiled like he always did.

Thankfully Mary asked them to sit down by the table just shortly after that and it wasn’t hard for the Winchester family to keep chatting the entire meal. Cas was sitting next to Sam and Dean was sitting across from him. He was mad at himself for overreacting like this, since there was no chance in hell he’d ever get into a situation where his stupid crush on the guy would be returned. Cas should know by now that he wasn’t supposed to develop a crush or obsession on a person way out of his league. He had tried to go out with other guys back in school, and for a while it was a good distraction. Since he didn’t see Dean all that often he managed to push him to the back of his mind, but the moment they were back in the same room Cas would just have to admit he certainly hadn’t gotten over his idiotic crush.

Cas calmed down during dinner. Mary asked him questions about his family like she always did and Sam teased him about his schoolwork and it felt normal so Cas clung to that and managed to get his heartbeat to slow down.

Sam dragged Cas into the living room after they finished eating and sprawled out on the couch so Cas settled on the floor as they watched a movie on the TV. Sam sighed content probably at being at home and that he’d just eaten. Cas chuckled, Sam was easy like that. He didn’t require much to stay happy.

“Hey, Sammy, gonna scoot over? Making your friend sit on the floor and everything.” Dean’s voice was quiet.

“Oh, he doesn’t mind.”

“Yeah, Sam you’re a real gentleman. I dread to think of how you treat your girlfriends.”

“Oh, I like them on the floor too.” Sam said suggestively and Dean laughed out loud, Cas blushed.

Dean got Sam to sit up and sat down next to him while Cas assured him he was fine in the floor. He was glad to be sitting there because then he wouldn’t have to stave off his urge to gawk at Dean all the time. He hugged the pillow he had in his lap.

It was quiet for a while apart from the movie and Cas relaxed slowly but surely. He could hear Mary cleaning in the kitchen and from time to time Sam and Dean exchanged some kind of inside joke about the movie. Cas pulled his feet up and rested his chin on top of his knees and that’s when he noticed the warm pressure of a leg against the side of his body. He didn’t have to look to know it was Dean’s and he spent the rest of the movie calming himself down. Totally pathetic, he knew, but the guy shouldn’t be touching him at all, in any way. It probably wasn’t on purpose, he might just have relaxed back on the couch and his leg came to rest like that.

Cas ruffled his hair a little and fiddled with the studs in his eyebrow as the movie ended. Sam yawned and stretched before he got up.

“Sam are you going to Charlie’s party tomorrow night?” Dean asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Sam simply replied and muttered good night and left. Cas hurried to his feet and grabbed his glass, glad he had an excuse to move away.

The house was quiet and when he glanced at the clock he realized it was pretty late. Cas should have been more attentive, because when he turned around Dean was leaning against the counter with a smile on his face. Cas looked at him quickly and tugged nervously on his shirt when Dean didn’t stop staring.

“Dean.” He said tentatively and the guy smiled wider.

“So, Cas are you going to the party tomorrow?” He asked.

“Um… I’m not sure. I mean… I don’t know her.” Cas said quietly and out of nervous habit pushed the tongue stud out between his teeth. Dean’s eyes snapped down to his lips and Cas wasn’t sure what to make of the way Dean’s eyes widened slightly.

“Yeah well… Um… since Sam and I are going you should too.” Dean said rubbing his neck.

“I… guess.” Cas nodded.

“Great. I’m sure we’ll have a good time.” Dean grinned, still staring at his mouth.

Cas motioned to the stairs as to say he was heading for bed and Dean just told him good night as he passed him and then Cas was left just as confused, because he didn’t understand what had just happened. He should probably not read anything into it. Dean was just making sure he wouldn’t feel left out.

***

Saturday morning Cas woke up to the distinct sound of day. The sun seeped in through the curtains, birds were singing and there was someone walking around in the kitchen downstairs. He sighed and padded into the shower. It was strange how familiar he was at their house, yet he felt so uncomfortable just because of the presence of Dean.

When he came downstairs Mary smiled and gave him a cup of coffee as she told him to head outside to enjoy the sun while she finished up breakfast.

Cas squinted his eyes as he stepped outside. The birds singing, kids were laughing and a neighbor was mowing the lawn made Cas feel warm inside. He sank down on the lowest step and wiggled his toes in the grass below. He let the sun warm his back while he enjoyed the coffee.

He almost burned his tongue when he heard Sam and Dean’s laugh, and happy voices reach him just before they came around the corner of the house. Both were drenched in sweat, wearing shorts and running shoes. Cas swallowed hard at the sight of so much exposed, sweaty skin and he stared intently at his feet.

“Oh, you’re up!” Sam said with a laugh and Cas rolled his eyes at him.

“Not everyone is up before dawn.” He muttered and Sam just chuckled good-heartedly.

Cas leaned back a little and met Dean’s eyes for a moment. Dean looked stunned for a second as he stared down at his shirt.

“Nice shirt.” He said, nodding to Cas’ blue shirt with the Texas state flag printed on the front.

“Yeah. Uh… I actually think I stole it from Sam.” He said quietly.

“That’s where my shirt went!” Dean suddenly said with a little laugh and pushed his brother’s shoulder.

“Your shirt?” Cas gaped and would have pulled it off if it wasn’t for the fact that he was staring at two very well shaped guys.

“Right. I might have brought it with me, calm down.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“And then you gave it to Cas?” Dean asked.

“He stole it from me one night he passed out on my couch.”

“Really?” Dean’s eyebrow lifted and Cas smiled a little sheepishly.

“Lights out. I swear, dude’s a drag when he gets too much to drink.” Sam huffed and Cas felt his face heat up.

“Shut up, Sam. You barely tolerates two shots of tequila and you’re either dancing on the tables or sleeping in a corner.” Cas retorted and was delighted to watch as Dean throw his entire body into the laugh. Fuck him for looking sexy without even trying, Cas was so screwed.

Sam muttered something under his breath and Cas knew it probably wasn’t nice. Dean shook his head.

“I feel like I’m missing out on quite a bit. Wish I was back in college with you two.” Dean chuckled.

“Just because you were mister life of the party doesn’t mean you get to crash ours.” Sam growled.

“We’ll see tonight. Now, we need to shower before mum comes out with the garden hose.” Dean finished and they both walked inside. Cas managed to catch his breath and ended up smiling stupidly at the thought of walking around in Dean’s t-shirt. It was a t-shirt for crying out loud, no reason to be a girl about it. Cas huffed.

Weekend - Breakfasts were always very nice at the Winchesters. Mary made a great breakfast and they always lingered by the table. They talked about their work, about things in the neighborhood or their plans for the summer. Sam and Cas would be graduating once the summer came around and everyone was interested to know what they were going to do once they were done.

 

Dean insisted on driving to the party even if Sam said it was stupid since he would be drunk and shouldn’t be driving back home.

“I’m not gonna drink that much.” Dean said but Cas saw the way Sam rolled his eyes. Well, maybe he should pay attention to where they were going so he could walk back home. At least then he knew he would be safe.

Cas couldn’t help but stare at Dean when they met downstairs, dressed for the party. His hair was a little bit ruffled and he had left a stubble on his face that was so attractive Cas was afraid he might do something stupid, like walk over there to lick him or something.

Dean was wearing tight ripped jeans that clung perfectly to his slim hips and strong thighs and maybe Cas had some trouble breathing. The thing with Dean he looked so strong and so good, but not too much. He might be a personal trainer, but he wasn’t too bulky or muscular, just… the right amount.

Cas himself had dressed in black jeans that managed to make him look a little slimmer than was the case and his oversized blue sweater was wide and long enough to cover his belly and soft hips.

Sam’s protests didn’t work so Dean drove them to the party, warned them about drinking too much and tell him if they were leaving before he did. Cas had to smile at the way the brothers talked to each other. Dean always wanting to protect him while Sam rolled his eyes at the way he nagged almost like his mother, but always following Dean’s orders either way.

Cas spent the car ride to the party trying to convince himself that the look Dean had given him, like he had appreciated his looks somehow, didn’t mean anything. Because there was no chance Dean did that.

 

Once they arrived at the party a red-haired girl practically wrapped herself around Dean giving him hugs and kisses while he laughed and held her as she wrapped her lags around his hips.

“Dean! I’m so happy to see you.”

“You think?” Dean asked with his eyebrows lifted and Cas heard Sam give a low snort next to him.

Eventually Sam pushed Dean away with a firm announcement it was his turn and he got the same treatment. When she finally got her feet back on the ground she glanced over at Cas.

“How about you? You want a hug too?” She grinned and Cas wished he’d had something to drink. She reached out a hand.

“I’m Charlie. We can work up to that hug.” She said and Cas couldn’t help but smile wide at her enthusiasm.

“I’m Cas.” He said with his deep voice and her eyes widened.

“You’re Cas – Oh! _You’re_ Cas!” She said a little louder and looked over at Sam and Dean for a moment.

“Well, you are definitely welcome in my home. I’m the birthday girl, drinks are on me.” She said and showed them further inside while Cas tried to wrap his head around the fact that she knew about him.

Sam soon came over with beers and Cas grabbed it gratefully. Sam and Dean was obviously friends with these people and since Cas was there next to them he was introduced to pretty much everyone.

Like predicted it didn’t take long for Sam to get a bit tipsy from the shots that Dean brought over to them. Dean laughed at his younger brother.

“I can’t believe how bad you’re at this.”

“Shut up, Dean. Not everyone has the tolerance you do. It’s not natural.” Sam insisted just a little annoyed.

Cas barked a laugh at that, feeling a little unsteady himself, and Dean grinned at him and Cas swore he could pass out from the brightness of it.

The music was loud and the party felt like most of the others he had been to. People was just as loud, they were singing along with the music, some were dancing, others made out in corners, and almost everyone had trouble keeping steady.

Cas watched Dean go around the room, slapping people’s backs, talk and laugh for a bit. From time to time he would look around the room, check up on his brother or his eyes would find Cas’ and linger for a while before he turned back to his conversation.

As Cas was drinking he felt the tension rise, he couldn’t handle the way Dean was keeping an eye on him. Sam on the other hand was wrapped up with some petite chick who pressed her body against his. Cas was not surprised when Sam came over to announce with rosy cheeks that he was heading out with this girl.

“You gonna be fine?”

“Sure. Just get out of here before she rips your shirt off right here.” Cas rolled his eyes and Sam chuckled happily.

“Good. Dean’s still here so you can ride with him, right?”

Cas nodded and raised the glass to his lips again.

Sam was gone in a flash and the next time Dean’s eyes met his Cas was given a little smile. Cas turned the other way and staggered into the kitchen.

Charlie was in the kitchen with some guy named Kevin that looked like he was too young to even be there, a blond girl that had tugged Dean’s ear and another girl that Cas suspected was Charlie’s girlfriend.

“Cas!” Charlie screamed and Cas stared wide eyed at her, but she either didn’t realize how loud she was or she didn’t care.

“I have been looking forward to meeting you.”

“You have?”

“Of course I do. I mean, the way you’ve entered the life of the Winchesters…” She shook her head a little. Cas wanted her to elaborate, but before they got that far he was forced to listen to their argument about why Loke was the perfect villain.

Eventually he hoisted up on the counter, only half listening to their argument.

“Cas, what do you think?”

“No. No, not giving into this.”

“Aww, come on!” Charlie said and gave him her best impression of a kicked dog. He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know why you are all so hung up on Loke, anyway.” He said which made all of them turn around to stare at him. Cas raised his hands in a disarmingly motion and the blond girl burst out laughing. She came over to him.

“I’m Jo. Tell me, who’s your favorite avenger?”

“What makes you think I’ve even got a favorite?”

She rolled her eyes looking every bit as sassy as Sam managed in situations like these.

“Because you look like you do, at least secretly. Besides, hanging out with Sam and Dean you’ve got to at least have seen a movie or two, yeah?”

“Sam’s more of a bookish guy.”

“Sure, but he still has a favorite. His is Iron Man, of course.” She said with another eye roll. “So come on, tell me.” She urged and nudged Cas side and he almost winched at her touch. She looked like she didn’t notice and Cas frowned down at his beer.

“Hawkeye.”

“Really?” She asked a little disappointed.

“Well, of course. He’s there to prove that you don’t need superpowers to be a hero, he’s hot and he’s just a… normal kind of guy!” Cas defended and Jo smiled at him.

“I can agree with you on that.” She said.

Cas learned that Charlie’s girlfriend was called Dorothy and that they were all a fun and kind of nerdy gang. Jo was all about getting Charlie drunk since it was her birthday and to do that apparently the rest of them had to down just as many shots. Cas could get onboard with that so he raised his glass whenever Jo pushed a new one into his hand.

People came and went into the kitchen. A lot of them wanted to talk to Charlie, dance with her and get a chance to have fun with the birthday girl. Dorothy sat on a chair in the kitchen talking to Kevin and Jo was still leaning against the counter next to Cas.

“Where is Sam?” She slurred.

“He… took off with some chick.”

“Oh, well. What are your plans then, you found someone to head out with too?” She wiggled her eyebrows and leaned heavily against his side.

“God, no. I’m about ready to fall asleep.” He assured her and she giggled at that.

“That’s too bad.” She said with a slight grin and Cas smirked back, keeping eye contact with her.

“Woah, Jo, what’s this? I thought you already got yourself someone to dig your claws into.” Dean was suddenly standing in the doorway looking at them.

“What? You mean like, you?” She asked and Dean just rolled his eyes.

“Hilarious.” Dean said dryly and Jo just giggled some more.

 

The party was coming to an end. It was late in the night or early in the morning. Most people had left already and Cas was a little surprised at how fast the night had gone. He came in there not knowing anyone, but found himself enjoying the time there with Charlie and the others.

“Cas, you want to hang around some more or head back?” Dean asked and Cas tried to ignore the way his heart made a jump like it always did when Dean was speaking directly at him.

Cas shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m only here because you and Sam went so I’m leaving whenever you are.” He said after a moment of silence. Cas felt like everyone was keeping an eye on him even though he knew it was stupid so he kept his eyes on Dean who nodded.

Charlie was pretty out of it and her girlfriend said she should probably get her into bed, so Cas took that as a sign they should leave. Cas refused to think of the feeling in the air between him and Dean as something other than just casual. Because he was sure whatever he was feeling it was only his own nerves.

It was really quiet expect for the slight sound of music coming from the stereo. Dean drove carefully down the streets and Cas stared out the window. He was glad he hadn’t been drinking too much. He couldn’t afford to make a fool of himself in front of Dean, so whenever the girls had cheered for another round of shots he had tried to make it look like he did whatever they did.

The buzz he was feeling was comfortable enough to make him sit relaxed in the car seat and slowly playing with the stud in his tongue. He was tired, but the alcohol kept his mind awake.

They walked quietly up to the front door and Cas felt his body stumble forward. Strong arms grabbed him before he fell and he was suddenly close to a nice smelling Dean with his firm body. So, maybe he had been drinking a little more than he thought he had. Cas stared up into his eyes and it seemed like it was impossible to look away. Dean unlocked the door and when it opened he pushed Cas through it.

Once inside he tried to get a hold of himself. He was just going to get upstairs to his room and if he didn’t fall asleep at once then maybe he could let himself think about Dean’s body some more. Now, though he needed to focus, because suddenly he was pushed into the kitchen where he was told to drink some water. Dean’s voice was firm and Cas knew there was no use in trying to stand up to that so he just took the offered glass and leaned heavily against the counter.

“My god, how much did you drink?”

“Dunno, didn’t think it was that much. Jo and Charlie kept pushing for shots.” He said and the understanding in Dean’s eyes told him that was nothing new.

“I gave some of them to Kevin though. I think he fell asleep after a while. Jo got some extras too.” Cas admitted and Dean’s laugh was light and soft in the quiet house.

“You’re a sneaky one.” He said.

Cas had watched Dean’s protectiveness up close, but he had never been on the receiving end of it before. After he was forced to drink two whole glasses of water Dean wanted him to eat something. Cas wasn’t sure he would be able to get down anything, but Dean was already eating forkfuls of some leftover lasagna and when he held the fork out to Cas he grabbed it.

As they walked up the stairs a while later, Cas’ head was spinning from more than the alcohol alone. Being this close to Dean, all alone and drunk, was dangerous. More than once he had caught himself stare at the way Dean’s arms bulged just right, and the slight stubble on his cheek. He was just so hot and Cas couldn’t help it now that he was so close to him.

Cas almost walked past the door into the guestroom and Dean whispered his name, probably not wanting to wake up Mary and John.

“What?” Cas asked.

“You thinking of sleeping in my room tonight or what?” Dean asked with a grin and Cas felt the blush heat up his face.

“Um… I wasn’t…” He stammered and Dean just opened the door into the guestroom and Cas had to turn around and walk back. When he was about to walk inside he was once again so close to Dean he could feel the warmth coming off his body. Cas’ breath hitched involuntarily and Dean’s eyes snapped up to meet his. Suddenly the door was closing behind him and he was pushed up against the wall with Dean’s body along his.

“Fuck, you’re hot!” Dean hissed before he leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were warm and soft. He tasted lasagna and beer. Cas’ hands found its way up to Dean’s broad shoulders and that alone was enough that he let out a quiet whimper.

Dean must have heard it because he pulled back and looked intently at Cas.

“Your… that… thing in your tongue, man, it’s fucking sexy.” Dean sounded breathless and Cas barely heard him speak over the way the blood roared in his ears.

Cas was a little ashamed at how easily Dean managed to push him around. He barely got a heads up before he was lying on his back on the bed and his legs spread without his consent the second Dean had a knee on the mattress. Cas swore he was better than this. He was able to take the lead, at least being able to reciprocate more. It was just that Dean… Dean made his eyes blurry and his bones feel like jelly.

Dean was there, with his knees between his thighs and then he was leaning forward into a kiss. His lips came down, hot and wet over Cas’. Taking what they wanted and promising everything in return. Cas let his hands tangle in his hair and he tried really hard not to moan too loud.

Between them Cas was hard as rock and Dean was pushing his hips down, letting him know he was hard too. Cas let out a long sigh when Dean kissed down his jaw and strong, sure hands were wandering down his sides, Cas couldn’t help but arch his back to push into the touch.

Dean was breathing hard and he kissed Cas with experience and want. His lips full and eager against Cas’, so much that Cas didn’t know how to keep up with it. One of his hands were still in Dean’s hair while the other clung to his bicep. Dean’s hands were roaming his chest and down over his hip, and Cas felt with a fluttering in his belly that one hand was coming closer to the button in his jeans. Dean suddenly pulled back.

“Fuck, Cas… I… how can I. Fuck I can’t do this.” Dean’s eyes were wide and he sounded a little desperate. Cas stared up at him, disoriented for a second and Dean was already standing on the floor. Cas pushed up until he was sitting on the bed.

“Cas, I’m so sorry.” Dean said and he looked genuinely sorry, only Cas’ mind wasn’t able to work fast enough to understand why. The only thing he knew for sure was that he missed the feeling of Dean on and around him. He was still achingly hard and Dean wasn’t doing much better.

“Dean?” Cas rasped and Dean pushed a hand through his hair.

“Let’s talk tomorrow, Cas. I’m really sorry about my… about this.” Dean said before he turned around. Cas sighed and fell back down on the pillows and when the door closed he felt his heart drop heavily.

 

Cas got into the shower the next morning with a pounding headache and with a heavy feeling in his heart. After Dean left Cas got time to think about it, and concluded that Dean sobered up when his hands started to feel up his body and he felt how out of shape Cas was. Dean realized that he wasn’t at all what he wanted and that he couldn’t go through with it and left. At least they had still been dressed at that moment, at least Dean hadn’t _seen_ how he looked.

Cas didn’t look at himself in the mirror and headed downstairs once he was done showering. Mary greeted him with a grin.

“I guess your head feels just as great as the other two?” She asked and handed him a glass of orange juice and some painkillers.

“Thanks, Mary.” Cas said.

Cas had no idea when Sam had come back to the house, but he was lying under a tree in the garden so Cas headed over to him.

“You finally came through. I was afraid you’d sleep until the evening.” Sam said without opening his eyes.

“Very funny, Sam.” Cas snorted and sat down next to him.

They would be heading back to campus that evening and Cas was relived. He was ready to get away from all the tension this weekend had created in his muscles and not to mention the night before.

In the shadow under the tree both men dozed off from time to time, talked a bit about the party and had something to eat as Mary insisted they had to have something.

Cas made sure to be around Sam the entire time, or Mary, so he wouldn’t be alone. Dean was there, looking at Cas, obviously wanting him to talk. Cas was not going to be left alone with Dean. He needed to get as far away as possible to be able to lick his wounds and move on.

 

Unfortunately, in the afternoon Sam gave a sheepish smile saying he would head out for a bit. Dean teased him about the girl from last night and Sam actually blushed. Cas would have laughed too if it wasn’t for the fact that he was left alone with Dean.

Cas got up from his chair and headed for the stairs when Dean said his name, quiet and soft. He schooled his face into a blank expression and turned around.

“Cas, I think we should talk about… you know, last night.” Dean said looking at him. Cas pursed his lips.

“There’s nothing to talk about. We were drunk, things happen.” Cas shrugged, ready to turn back around and head upstairs.

“Yeah well…” Dean sighed and he sounded so uncertain that Cas had to lift his head to look at him. Dean nudged his head to make Cas come over to him and even if his brain screamed for him to lock himself into his room, his body walked over to the couch.

“You seem upset, and I don’t want you to leave here feeling mad at me or something.” Dean told him.

“I’m not mad at you.” Cas said quietly. He still couldn’t look Dean directly in the eye.

“Its… I… You know…” Dean huffed and pushed a hand through his already ruffled hair. It made Cas think he had done the same a lot through the day. Maybe Dean was a little stressed out about this as well.

“What I’m trying to say is that last night was… things got a bit out of hand, and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you being so drunk” Dean finished and took a deep breath. Cas narrowed his brows and looked up slowly.

“What? I wasn’t that drunk.” Cas protested and it tugged in Dean’s mouth.

“Yes, Cas we were both pretty drunk last night. I just… Cas, I’m not that kind of person.”

Dean didn’t have to tell Cas that. Cas knew how Dean was. He was too nice for his own good. A family guy and a hot as hell personal trainer. People who knew him always talked about how he helped them out with stuff, how he took the time to talk to old people and uninteresting people just to make their day better. Cas knew about that, because he admired him for it. Cas was way too selfish himself to keep up that kind of pretense.

Still, Cas couldn’t help but ask.

“What do you mean?”

Dean shifted in his seat and looked around the living room.

“I don’t want to just… go ahead without knowing if the other one is onboard with it.”

Cas wanted to remind him that nobody really wanted that unless they were screwed up or something. Instead he stared at his hands. He needed to get out of there, that was for sure, but now that Dean had him sitting down it felt weird just getting up to leave. Cas froze when there was a hand on his shoulder.

“Cas, was I wrong last night?” Dean asked.

Cas shook his head slowly.

“About what?”

“That you… um, were into it too.”

Cas wanted to roll his eyes at Dean because really! How stupid was that? He’d practically begged with his entire body for him to go on. He shook his head.

“No, you… I mean, of course I was!” Cas said his voice a little steadier and Dean’s face seemed to relax a little.

“Yeah?” The little smirk was back in place and Cas’ traitorous heart made a jump as he couldn’t hold back a little smile of his own.

When Dean leaned closer Cas’ first thought was that he should pull back. Instead he sat there staring at the man with his eyes wide. He leaned in all the way and met his lips soft and gentle before pulling away a little.

“So you still into it?” Dean whispered and Cas practically burst forward to kiss him.

A quiet chuckle could be heard in Dean’s chest, but strong arms soon wrapped around Cas and he was pulled closer.

Making out with Dean felt like something Cas shouldn’t dare think of and at the same time something he knew he wouldn’t ever get enough of. He was soon pulled onto Dean’s lap and both were breathing hard. Dean muttered incoherently into his mouth, his tongue was teasing and his hands were back on Cas’ body.

He wanted to pull away at that. Cas didn’t need another reminder. It wasn’t like his body had ever really been an issue, but facing Dean, he knew he had nothing to show for and that was leaving Cas insecure.

“No, no, no, fuck!” Dean suddenly pulled back.

“Someone’s coming.” He announced and Cas leaped off Dean’s lap as he heard a car come to a stop outside. He looked around like a trapped animal. Dean laughed.

“Come on, let’s head upstairs.” He said.

Cas followed him upstairs not knowing what this would lead to. He would have to leave soon, and if it was Sam coming back already there was no way he’d get away with being inside Dean’s room. He sighed content as he leaned into Dean’s body once they were secure behind a closed door.


	2. Not what I expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I hope you still want to read it. 
> 
> It's not proof read, I'm hungry and I can't make myself do it right now... But I'm going to post it anyway.
> 
> Thanks for reading xx

Dean liked his life. He had an easy and fulfilling job with helping others out. He had a great family and great friends. Living day to day with little to none worries and it was something he enjoyed to the fullest. He never cared whenever someone mentioned how he should find a girl to settle down with. Of course he wanted a family one day, but right now he wanted to focus on what he had going on. 

At least that’s what he did until one day he came home to his family and met the friend his little brother had brought with him. Dean had already been home for the weekend and looked forward to spending a few days with his family, especially since he to count his hours with his brother now that both had moved out. Sam had called up his mother, asking if he could bring a friend. They had all thought that it was about a girl, someone special he wanted to bring home, but apparently this was about an actual friend that had a crappy roommate and no family nearby. Sam had always been one to look out for his friends and Mary would never dream of saying no to something like that. 

Dean was happy his brother had made friends in college and looked forward to meeting him. It wasn’t like the Winchesters were strangers to housing people who needed a place to stay for the night. Growing up Dean had been friends with or at least taken it upon himself to be responsible for Garth. The guy had grown up in a violent home and he would often stop by for a night or two. They were used to having other people around and no one in the family stopped to question it because that’s how they wanted it to be. 

It had been a while now, of course, but things hadn’t changed. Dean was in the living room discussing the latest game with his father when Sam came in the front door announcing his presence. Mary immediately hurried into the hall and Dean could hear his mother gushing around her youngest son. She put on a friendly voice for the newcomer and Dean heard a quiet deep voice responding to that. 

Sam didn’t waste time coming into the living room, and Dean stood up to give him a hug. John greeted him with a: “Good to see you, son.” And then Sam took a step back to introduce his friend. 

Dean met good looking people all the time. He worked in a gym for crying out loud. People there tended to put effort into their looks and a lot of them were handsome and even hot. So Dean prided himself on being able to avoid gawking if he noticed a particular great butt or slender waists or broad shoulders. He really wasn’t that picky, but at least he knew how to work around it. This though, was something different. 

This guy wasn’t like anyone he would see around the gym. He was standing partly behind Sam and he tugged nervously at his shirt. Dean was trained to look at peoples bodies to estimate what they wanted to work at. This guy had soft edges all over, especially around his hips and belly and for some reason Dean didn’t think about how he could work on that. He wondered instead how that softness would feel under his hands. What stood out most about him, though, was his pierced eyebrows and black hair that made Dean’s hands itch to comb through. 

“Guys, this is Cas. A friend of mine from school.” Sam told them in a light voice. Cas thrust his hand forward to say hello to John. Their father didn’t say much, but he nodded and said he was welcome to stay. A tiny smile played over his lips and Dean felt his heart jump at the soft rumble of Cas’ deep voice as he answered. 

“Thank you Mr. Winchester.” 

“Hello, Cas. Nice to meet you. How come you survive being around my little brother?” He asked with a grin and he noticed how the guy’s eyes widened. It did nothing to calm down Dean’s beating heart and unwelcome thoughts. 

After a dinner in which Dean made an effort to involve himself in the conversations going on he was practically exhausted. He went up to his room and slumped down on his bed. 

First, he concluded, there was no way he could react like that on a guy Sam’s age. Besides he was Sam’s friend as well, so it was a no even before anything else. 

Secondly, he figured, he probably just was a little unprepared to meet Sam’s friend just to realize he was some light-punky kind of guy. It didn’t matter if the guy spoke with the softest kind of voice, that he looked all kinds of shy and that he was polite enough to help Mary clean the table afterwards. 

Then again, what really had brought Dean to his knees was when Cas had been standing in the kitchen chatting with Mary about his family which practically lived on the other side of the country. He had leaned casually against the counter while Mary trotted around preparing some kind of dessert. Dean walked inside to see if he could help with something (seriously, that had been his only intention) and he had seen the guy pushing a glistening blue tongue stud out between his teeth, rolling it back and forth a few times before it disappeared again. 

Dean had no idea when he developed a kink for piercings, but there it was, he felt his dick twitch with interest and that’s when he realized he didn’t just find this guy interesting, he was fucking hot as well. Still, Dean hadn’t given in to his urges that night, but he did not survive the entire weekend without groaning into his pillow.

 

After that weekend Dean tried to just forget about it. He knew that sometimes you could meet people in your life that you wanted to take to bed, but that didn’t mean you always should. Dean didn’t know the guy much anyway and he probably needed to get laid. So for the next few weeks Dean hooked up regularly. There were pretty girls everywhere that were more than happy to have some fun with him. Dean was not happy to feel that little itch didn’t go away from that. 

It wasn’t long after that he started to look for a more specific type. Someone with dark ruffled hair, and preferably with a piercing or two. That seemed to do the trick and Dean started breathing normally again. Feeling like the whole think probably just had been a think about Cas’ appearance. 

Dean continued his life like normal. He worked long hours, talked regularly with his mother and always with his brother. Sam was excited about his school and he studied hard. The brothers often called each other to complain about this or that, or to tell the other about something that had happened to them. Sometimes when Sam got into a story involving Cas Dean tried not to picture the guy in his mind, and eventually the urges went away. 

It wasn’t until a month after Christmas and he headed back home again when he saw Cas. The last couple of times he had been visiting Cas hadn’t come with Sam and other times he heard the guy had been there when Dean wasn’t around. Dean didn’t even think about it that much, because he had been able to get back to his normal routine again, one where he still hooked up with women. 

At least he was ready for it this time. He knew Cas would be there and he knew how the guy looked and acted, so when he came inside noticing the guy sitting in the living room chatting with John he was able to control himself. Sure the guy was still good looking, but he knew about it now so he was good. 

And he really was, because it turned out that Cas didn’t spend so much time hanging around the same places as Dean. He and Sam headed out one night, then the next day there was something in town that Dean wanted to go to and Cas decided against it. He still noticed how good the guy looked, but he didn’t feel like he was hurting with it anymore. 

Only, when they came back from the trip into town Cas was sitting curled up in a chair his hair falling into his eyes and he was playing with that damned stud again while reading the book in his lap. Cas wasn’t a smiling kind of guy, as far as Dean had learned, but when Sam came inside enthusiastically declaring he needed to show something to Cas there was a smile breaking out over his face that made a jealous pinch appear in his stomach. The guy just seemed so happy to see Sam, Dean started to think there might be more than friendship between them. 

Dean knew for a fact though that his brother was drooling over a blond chick, or occasionally headed over to Ruby, so he wasn’t interested in guys. It was just that the genuine smile on the otherwise serious face made all the difference and all Dean wanted was to be the reason it appeared again. 

Well wasn’t he screwed?

 

Dean found himself asking Sam about Cas from time to time after that. He was going to keep his stupid crush at bay, but he could still keep track on the guy. After meeting him twice Dean still wasn’t entirely sure he was into guys or not. Sam solved that one for him by going on about how Cas had been busy with a “studying-buddy” of his. And the way Sam said studying-buddy made Dean aware of the air quotes even over the phone. So his brother really hadn’t needed to go into detail about how they disappeared at parties and showed up all untidy and ruffled. 

For someone rarely talking about himself, or at least the part in his life that was important, Dean knew that Sam was the one person able to pull things from him however unwilling. Sam could practically smell it on him when there was something Dean kept holding back. It was just Dean’s luck that Sam decided to start talking about it while they were at Charlie’s place playing on her play station. 

That was a thing she did. Gathering her friends together and having a night of drinking and playing games. Thankfully it was only Sam and Dean there that night.

Dean was well on his way to getting drunk. Somehow he had gotten the impression that Cas would be heading home with Sam for the weekend, but apparently he had more important things to do. So Dean’s mood was a bit strange and he couldn’t really explain why he felt like that. It was irrational and stupid, because he told himself, it wasn’t like he had been looking a little bit extra forward to it or anything. 

“Dean what’s going on? You’re playing like shit.” Sam said after winning yet another game. 

“Yeah, right. You just got lucky.”

“Lucky four times in a row?” Sam lifted an eyebrow at his brother showing him how unlikely that was. Sam might regularly try and beat Dean at any game, but most of the time Dean would win, or at least put up a bit more fight than he had tonight.

“You’ve got some trouble at work, or it’s about some romance drama.” Sam said matter-of-factly. Dean wanted to punch him, and it got even worse because Charlie was like a dog with its toy once someone mentioned romance related drama. She propped down on a pillow, looking expectantly at them. 

“Who’s got trouble in their love life?” She asked, way too excited and Sam the idiot pointed at Dean. Charlie practically rubbed her hands together in glee. 

“I don’t think I’ve heard about you having such troubles ever.”

“And you’re not gonna.” Dean insisted as he started a new game.

“Dean, you’ve been prissy like a bitch the entire day!” Sam told him and Charlie looked like she’d hit jackpot. 

“This I’ve got to hear. Is it some girl making troubles for you? Oh god, you got someone pregnant, didn’t you?” She said and Dean glared at her. 

“Of course not. What do you think I am?” He rolled his eyes, but Charlie had gotten the reaction she needed. 

“Okay, then tell me. You made someone mad at you?”

Sam didn’t step in to stop her which was a sign that Dean maybe hadn’t been all that subtle in his annoyance through the day. 

Dean tried to focus on the game, but this time Sam wasn’t making an effort, somehow once he and Charlie ganged up on Dean he should know the chance of getting away was slim. 

“Come on, Dean, we only want to help.” Charlie said innocently enough and Dean sighed. 

“It’s not like you could do anything to help.” Dean said. 

“Oh, okay. But there is something going on?” 

Dean could have banged his head against the table. 

“Would you just let it go? I’m having a bad day, that’s it.”

Dean could almost feel the way Sam and Charlie exchanged looks behind his back so he got up to get a beer. He was acting stupid and he knew he was, but somehow rational was a foreign word when it came to Cas. Dean was not supposed to struggle with this. At all. He was good with people, really good. Nobody could push him into feeling like this, yet some college kid had managed to screw it all to hell. Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth; Maybe he needed that help after all. 

Charlie stared expectant at him when he sat back down. 

“Have you decided to talk?” 

Dean sent her a glare but she returned it with a smile of her own. 

“Like I said, nothing to talk about.” 

Sam sighed. “Just spit it out already. You even sounded strange on the phone this past week.” He insisted and Dean would have denied it, because it was so not true, but he also felt kind of bad about the entire situation. 

After Charlie had gotten something stronger to drink and squeezed herself down between the brothers she turned to look at him. 

“I know what your problem is.”

“Really?” Dean still wanted to ask her why she thought there was a problem, but knew they were probably past that by now. 

“Yes. You are pining for someone.” She concluded and Dean’s cheeks heated slightly while Sam looked at him differently. Like he saw his brother for the first time. 

“Pining? Who even says that?” Dean scowled. 

“Well, everyone. Whenever a person wants someone they can’t get, or think they can’t get.”

“Yeah, right. It’s nerd-talk. Nobody walks around talking like that.” Dean insisted. Charlie didn’t even move an inch, never really bothered when Dean teased her about nerd-stuff. 

“Listen, Dean. It’s not a big deal. If you met someone you should tell us.” Charlie pushed. 

Dean got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth in front of them. 

“It’s not a big deal, huh? You don’t even know anything about it!” He said to them. 

“Well? Is it then? Is it someone you shouldn’t fall for? Like a friend’s girlfriend or something.” Sam suddenly spoke up and Dean looked over at him and wanted to roll his eyes. 

“Like that’s something I would do.” 

Sam huffed a little, but didn’t comment on it so Dean let it go. 

“Besides, it’s not like I chose for it to happen. Because how could I know that I’d suddenly start getting these ideas about the guy? He was just there, and I definitely didn’t ask for it.”

Dean kept pacing across the floor and felt both Sam and Charlie stare at him. 

“What?”

“Who is it?” Charlie said, she was sitting at the edge of the couch already. 

“What ideas?” His brother asked at the same time. 

“I don’t know. It’s these thoughts that I want to do things together with him, not just to take him home for the night. I started thinking about making food together, driving around and going out for a real date. It’s really stupid.”

“Aww, our boy is in love.” Charlie all but sang. 

“I’m not in love with Cas!” Dean almost yelled at her. 

“CAS?” Sam was on his feet staring at his brother with something between disbelief and anger. 

“Cas? Who’s Cas?” Charlie was staring from one brother to the other. 

“No, you can’t say Cas. He’s MY friend, MY age! What the hell man?” Sam was already in his brother’s face and Dean stared back even if his face was flushed red with embarrassment. 

“I told you it’s no big deal! I’m just a bit distracted, and then you two come along and make a big deal out of it.” Dean gestured at them. 

“Yeah, right. You said you had ideas about him. Cas is my friend, and he’s not someone you can come around and have your fun with.”

Dean ran a hand across his face as he took a deep breath. Before he could say anything Charlie interrupted them. 

“Why don’t you two sit down and we can talk about this.” She said and after glaring at each other they sank down on each side of her. 

“You know what, Sam? Fuck you. I’m not sitting down. You can just find your own ride back home.” Dean picked up his jacket and walked outside in long strides. 

 

Dean hadn’t mean to react that harsh to what his brother said, but they barely spoke the rest of the weekend and Dean left early to head back to his place. He wasn’t even sure why he was so mad at him, but since he had been tricked into telling him and Charlie about his stupid crush, he hadn’t wanted them to think it was a bad thing. 

He realized Sam was probably just surprised to say the least, but still, he didn’t like the implication that he only fooled around with people. 

Dean knew he had a reputation because of his long list of lovers. He wasn’t shy about it because it was nothing to be ashamed of. He had fun with other people who also wanted to have fun, he wasn’t hurting anyone. Only now that this thing with Cas had started to get to him, he felt out of his depths unsure of what do to next.

Turned out that his father was the one making things go back to the way it was. He called Dean one night saying he wanted to talk. For a while they talked about a game, then about Dean’s grandmother who was ill, then John came around to what he really wanted to talk about. 

“Why is it we hear that you and your brother aren’t speaking?”

Dean sighed. He should have known. It wasn’t like it was common for his father to call just to have a chat.

“Did you have a fight or something?” John pushed. His father had never really been one to go into an argument, but he was never going to let his sons keep ignoring each other. 

“Yeah, well, we did have an argument, and it kind of stayed that way.” Dean tried. 

“Damn it, you two are grown up men now, you should be able to fix these kind of things.”

“I know, but… Okay, I get it dad. Have you talked to Sam?”

“No, but I’ll call him next.” John threatened and Dean knew he would. 

“I’ll talk to him too.” Dean sulked after a moment. 

 

Dean didn’t call his brother up immediately. Instead he took a shower, made some food and forgot about the whole thing while he watched tv. So, maybe he didn’t really forget about it, he just refused to think about it. He really wasn’t the one at fault here. 

Dean was woken the next morning by his phone ringing and answered before he even bothered to sit up. 

“Morning Dean.” Sam’s voice sounded a little wary. 

“Sam.” Dean said. 

“I… um, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Yeah, because our father called.” Dean said suppressing a yawn. 

Sam sighed and promised that wasn’t the reason he did. 

“Well, maybe I’m calling now because he did, but I’m still sorry about it. I just… I was just surprised. But Charlie told me you weren’t just playing around with this, so I guess I have made my peace with it.” He finished and Dean slowly sat up in his bed. 

“It’s not like I asked for it to happen.” He muttered and padded into his bathroom. 

“How did it happen actually?”

Dean flushed red despite himself. 

“I just… He’s hot, okay?” He huffed and he heard a quiet chuckle from the other end. 

“I can’t say I’m crazy about it, but… we’re headed down home next weekend, you should come too.” Sam offered and Dean took it for the peace offering it was and agreed to meet them there for Charlie’s birthday. 

 

Dean felt stupidly giddy when he stopped in front of his parents’ house, knowing Cas would be there too. He walked inside, opting for his most casual behavior and hugged his family. Sam actually asked if he remembered Cas and Dean wanted to send him a scolding look, but instead he was struck by Cas. It felt too long ago that he had met Cas and the guy was still stunning. His hair a little messy, and his eyes was almost a little like a deer in headlights. 

No matter how much digging Dean had done after he finally started talking to his brother again he never was able to find out if Cas actually liked him too. Since Sam refused to be put between them in this Dean decided he should just figure it out for himself. He headed into the living room where his brother and Cas was watching a movie and his comments and light pressure of leg against Cas’ side only resulted in a slight blush and Cas fumbling with the piercings in his brow, which was really hot. 

Dean had been sure he could keep it cool, and he asked Sam about the party mostly to see how Cas reacted, but there was none. Instead Cas walked out of there and Dean followed him into the kitchen, practically cornering him. Cas looked adorably nervous, tugging at his shirt and staring with his eyes wide. Then a pink tongue was pushed out between those lips and Dean almost whined at the sight of that tongue stud. He had no idea why it turned him so on, but it really did. 

After Cas fled the kitchen just after that Dean walked upstairs and went to bed, but he wasn’t going to get any sleep. All he could think about was that boy. That good looking, punk, and quite nervous kind of guy. 

Finally giving in Dean snaked a hand into his boxers and squeezed around his hard cock. His eyes fluttered closed as he let out a long heavy breath. Blue eyes and messy black hair was part of his fantasy, as well as that green glimmering thing in his tongue. Dean arched his back imagining how it would feel against his sensitive flesh and came with a hand over his mouth to silence his cry. 

 

Sam liked to drag Dean with him on his runs whenever they were home together and Dean was happy to run along. 

Both men were sweaty and happy when they entered into the garden. Sam had teased him about the whole thing with Cas, and Dean almost tripped over when they walked around the corner of the house to find a tired Cas sitting on the steps with a cup of coffee in his hands looking all kinds of wrinkled. 

Dean joined in on the friendly teasing between Cas and his brother and he almost got inappropriately hard when he realized the t-shirt Cas was wearing, actually was one of his own. He could clearly imagine this was how Cas would look waking up next him in bed, all tired and messy, man was he sexy. 

 

Charlie was thrilled to see them at her place as always and she almost let it slip that she knew about Cas. But Dean was actually having a great time wandering about the room chatting with old friends. He kept an eye on his brother and Cas through the night and it pleased him to see Cas getting along with their friends. 

It wasn’t until late when he headed into the kitchen that he realized maybe he should have been a little more present to what went down. The small group in the kitchen were all really drunk, laughing and making each other drink even more. A flash of jealousy rushed through him when Dean noticed Jo and Cas standing close together, too close and he heard Jo’s words clear enough. 

“What are your plans then, you found someone to head out with too?” She said in a seductive voice leaning closer. Cas giggled back at her, but mumbled something about being too tired. 

Still, that was enough for Dean to interrupt them and Jo wasn’t even a little bit affected by that. Cas had glassy eyes and did look a bit tired actually. 

On the way back to the house the tension between them grew. Dean wasn’t sure what made it happen, but he felt tense and nervous when they reached the door. When Cas stumbled and Dean had to catch him it was gone and he tried to help the guy into the house.

He made him some food and forced Cas to drink water before they headed upstairs. They tried to stay quiet, but Dean knew how his family worked, and his mother was most likely awake. She never made a big deal of it as long as they behaved and they were grown-ups by now so she couldn’t do much anyway. 

Dean had every intention of getting Cas into bed and then head straight into his own room and preferably jerk off, because well, he was a little drunk and definitely horny. That was his plan until Cas was standing so close to him, he could feel the heat coming from his body, his eyes were locked on Dean and suddenly he couldn’t control himself. The door was closed behind them before he knew it and Dean pushed Cas roughly against the wall taking what he could get from that delicious mouth. The kiss was frantic and desperate almost immediately and Dean was afraid for a second that his parents may walk in on them if they made too much noise. He had no chance of letting go of Cas now that he had gotten a taste of that delicious mouth, and that stud in his tongue made Dean want to moan out loud. 

Dean pushed Cas over to the bed and when the guy spread his legs once Dean got onto the bed he was sure he could come just from kissing alone because Cas is just beyond hot. Dean grind his hips down a little against Cas’ hips to feel his hardness against his own and it’s almost too much. Suddenly Dean’s hands start roaming over his body. Tracing his chest and down across his belly. It was soft and a little jiggly and somehow Dean found that absolutely adorable. He wanted to see this guy naked, to feel his legs tight around his hips while he was driving into him, and he wanted to know how his soft body felt. 

Cas was clinging to Dean’s bicep, panting fast and his lips eager to meet his. Dean pulled back a little staring into his glazed eyes and his heart dropped. He couldn’t do this now. Cas was drunk out of his mind and would probably not even remember this in the morning. Dean couldn’t take advantage like that. 

“Fuck, Cas… I… how can I. Fuck I can’t do this.” Cas stared up at him, disoriented for a second and Dean had already pulled back to stand next to the bed. Cas slowly pushed himself up so he was leaning against his elbows. 

“Cas, I’m so sorry.” Dean said and backed away a little. He wanted to bad to jump back into the bed and pull Cas so close he could get. 

“Dean?” Cas rasped and Dean pushed a hand through his hair. 

“Let’s talk tomorrow, Cas. I’m really sorry about my… about this.” Dean said before he turned around. Before he closed the door he made sure Cas was lying down on the mattress again. 

Dean cursed under his breath as he slightly unsteady walked into his own bedroom and undressed for bed. The sheets were cold and he was alone, but his hard-on wouldn’t let go. Instead of fighting it he pushed his boxers all the way off and wrapped a hand around his cock and started stroking. His mind went to the dark haired slightly chubby man in the next room and Dean had to bite into the pillow to keep his moans quiet. He could picture himself thrusting into a tight heat and watch his body shake a little with the force of his thrusts. Dean arched his back and tensed up as he came all over his own stomach. For a long while he was lying in his bed, sated and lax. 

 

The next day went nothing like Dean had thought it would. Instead of getting Cas alone to talk to him about last night the guy was avoiding him at all cost. It was practically impossible to find Cas alone without either Sam or Mary there. Dean wondered if Cas regretted last night that much, or if he was already blaming Dean for what had happened and by the time afternoon rolled around Dean was afraid he had ruined every chance he ever had at making a move on Cas for real. 

Luckily Dean was there when Sam announced that he would be headed out for a bit. 

“Oh, you’re really going back to that chick only a few hours after you left her?” Dean teased and Sam actually blushed slightly but he rolled his eyes and told his brother to shut up. 

Cas was on his way to the stairs before Dean stopped him. The way Cas was insisting they didn’t have anything to talk about the worse Dean felt, certain he had made the guy feel bad about everything. 

It wasn’t long though before Dean managed to get out of Cas that he had been up for it the night before and even if he didn’t give any explanation as to why he didn’t want to talk about it Dean was too happy about it that he let it go for the moment. 

Instead he leaned forward, looking into those blue beautiful eyes and brushed his lips against his. 

“So, you still into it?” Dean whispered and Cas, instead of answering, leaned forward kissing Dean with intent. 

Dean pulled him closer immediately, not wanting to let go now that he had Cas there and it wasn’t long before he pulled him up into his lap. Dean forced himself to keep it light and didn’t push his hips forward to press his hardening length against Cas’ ass like he wanted to. 

Both were practically gone in each other, breathing hard and Dean’s hand started wandering over Cas’ body again, searching out his curves, wanting to feel them underneath his clothes. That’s when he heard his father’s car come to a stop outside and he pulled back. 

“No, no, no, fuck!” Dean sighed. 

“Someone’s coming.” He announced and Cas leaped off Dean’s lap looking around like a trapped animal. Dean laughed. 

“Come on, let’s head upstairs.” He suggested and after a moment of contemplating Cas followed him up to his room. 

Dean hadn’t really thought anything through. He just knew he wanted just a little bit more time alone with Cas and his delicious lips. Inside his room he immediately pushed Cas towards the bed and they stumbled down on the mattress tangled in each other. Cas wasn’t hesitant anymore, taking just as much as giving away his kisses. It felt insanely hot and Dean was unable to keep his hands from wandering over his body. Cas suddenly rolled them around so that he was on top and Dean glanced up at him with a grin. 

Cas leaned down again to kiss Dean’s lips and his hips started moving, pushing down against Dean’s growing erection. With a quiet gasp Dean thrust up to meet Cas’ hips, and gain more pressure. He knew they probably shouldn’t do this. First of all they were in his childhood bedroom, secondly, they weren’t even alone in the house. They were grown-ups for fucks sake and should be able to keep this away from the rest of Dean’s family. 

When Dean reached down and pulled up Cas’ sweater the other boy tensed just a little. He let the sweater get pulled over his head, and then reached down to get the shirt off Dean. Dean didn’t have anything under his shirt and felt a little frustrated at how his skin didn’t meet skin, but the soft material of Cas’ t-shirt. 

Before he could reach for his shirt Cas started leaving a trail of kisses down Dean’s neck and to his nipples. Dean arched his back and let out a surprised moan at the feeling. He is rock hard and he can feel a similar hardness pressing against his thigh so he deliberately pushed his knee a little forward and gained a strangled moan from Cas. 

Cas leaned back up to meet Dean’s lips and they both started moving against the other. It was a little awkward at first, they were both still dressed, and in a hurry. Dean reached out to Cas and placed his hands over his hips to get some strength into his thrusts. 

Both were rutting against each other like horny teenagers without any control or finesse, and Dean couldn’t care less. Cas was letting out soft little gasps that made Dean almost go crazy. When Cas finally tipped over the edge and came his eyes closed and mouth hanging open Dean thrust up a few more times and let go inside his pants. 

He should be embarrassed about it, but he couldn’t get himself to feel like that. Instead he pulled Cas down and kissed his lips. 

“Man, you’re hot.” He whispered and Cas let out a breathless laugh. 

***

Dean didn’t see Cas much after that. They talked once in a while over the phone, but otherwise there was nothing happening. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed, but he would not be pushing Cas into anything he didn’t want to be a part of. Maybe he was just a little curious and wanted to get it out of his system. 

Since there was no hint coming from Cas that he was interested in anything more Dean tried to stop obsessing over it and maybe move on when the time was right. 

Dean tried asking Sam, but his brother wasn’t willing so share much. What he did say, though, was that Cas definitely wasn’t seeing anyone and part of Dean felt good about that. 

It was almost three months later that Dean was on his way home to visit his parents. Sam would be there as well, and they were going to have a family party for Sam’s birthday. That’s when he got a message from Cas saying he would be headed there too and that he was looking forward to seeing him again. A little taken aback Dean just replied that he looked forward to it too. 

Dean was already home when Sam pulled up in front of the house and they could soon hear two voices speaking outside. Inside Dean felt his stomach turn but he reminded himself he was being silly, this was Cas, he’d spoken to the guy several times and there was nothing bad between them. 

Sam patted his shoulder once he came inside and when he was moved past Dean looked at Cas. His eyes widened. Gone was those wide and lumpy sweaters instead the guy was wearing a t-shirt with a dark shirt thrown over his shoulders. He was still sporting the wild hair and those tempting piercings, but he was acting more confident as he walked towards Dean, and he had definitely spent a great deal of time in the gym. 

“Cas?” Dean asked in almost a whisper. 

“Hi, Dean.” Cas smiled. “How you been?” 

“Um, I’m good. Yeah… good. How about you?” Dean pulled himself together. 

Cas gave him a crooked smile but before he could say anything Mary was there pulling him into a hug while she told him he looked good. 

Dean found himself spending a lot of the time staring at Cas. Getting some time alone with him proved almost impossible, especially when the house started filling up with family members and Dean was ordered around by his mother to help out. 

Cas was still keeping to the kitchen even if he didn’t seem like he wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground whenever someone came to talk to him. 

 

After the weekend was over Sam and Cas had to head back to college to finish the last two weeks of the semester. Dean had a few days off and when Sam asked him if he could come by to help him move into a different place Dean was more than happy to drive back with his brother. He had no idea why he was going to move during finale week, but who was he to say no to a chance to understand the mystery of Cas a little better. 

Sam still wouldn’t say much about Cas to Dean, but he gave him his address and told him that Cas would be in a lecture until noon the next day. 

Dean wasn’t sure how he should approach the whole thing, but eventually he decided he would wait until noon before he headed over to Cas and knocked on his door. There was surprise in his eyes when he noticed who was outside. 

“Hey.” 

“What are you doing here?” He looked over his shoulder like he expected to see someone else there too. Dean pursed his lips together. 

“Have you had lunch yet?” He asked instead. The fact that Cas seemed so surprised at seeing him there made Dean think that maybe he didn’t want to see him there. 

“No…”

“So, you wanna head out to grab something to eat then?” Dean pushed and a smile played at the corner of Cas’ lips before he nodded and said he just needed to get his wallet. 

Dean wasn’t familiar in the area so he let Cas direct him while he drove. They ended up at a place that Cas promised had good and decent food. Dean just muttered something about being a place for snobby college students. 

In spite of this being the first time they were really alone together after that day in Dean’s room the tension isn’t as bad as Dean feared. Cas talked about his school work, about finals week, and how he looked forward to moving in with Sam for the next year. Dean talked a bit about his job and then some about his friends and his car. Dean only raised an eyebrow when Cas only wanted to eat a salad while he himself gobbled down a greasy burger with fries and dressing. 

After their meal Dean drove around almost aimlessly, and eventually they ended up at a little stop overlooking a little lake. 

“You gonna kill me or seduce me?” Cas asked with a grin. 

“I was thinking more in the line of talking.” Dean said and Cas started fiddling with the piercing in his tongue. Dean swallowed. 

“I wanted to ask if… everything is fine since… the last time we saw each other.” Dean said and Cas looked a little surprised when he turned to watch Dean. 

“Why do you ask that?”

“Because things happened fast, got a little out of hand, and then we… I don’t know nothing. I want to make sure I didn’t do something you felt uncomfortable with.” Dean said seriously and Cas took a deep breath. 

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He said quietly. 

“Yeah, well… I do a little bit. You never showed up with Sam after that.” Dean pushed. 

“I’ve been busy.” Cas avoided his eyes. 

“So I’ve noticed.” 

Cas sighed and let his eyes wander out the window. Dean was still looking at him, wondering why he exactly was the one to make his heart flip. 

“I… wanted to come back with him but I… uh.” Cas cleared his throat. “I didn’t know what it was, what happened between us, if that…” He blushed and stopped talking. 

“You could have just asked. I thought I’d done you wrong, so I kept my distance.” Dean said. 

“Well, you didn’t. I wanted it to be more than that.” Cas said under his breath. 

Dean reached forward to make Cas look at him. 

“I did too.” He said with a smile. Cas stared into his eyes for a long time before leaning forward to brush his lips against Dean’s. 

Before they knew it Dean had pulled Cas onto his lap and they were making out until the windows started fogging. Dean kissed a trail down Cas’ neck and pushed his shirt down his shoulders. Cas rolled his hips and ground down against Dean both letting out low moans. 

Cas started to fumble with Dean’s clothes, pulling his shirts over his head and let his hands trail over his chest. Dean leaned back to give him access and Cas sucked marks to his skin and Dean couldn’t stop his hips from keeping the rhythm they had started. 

When Dean started pulling Cas’ t-shirt over his head the guy tensed on top of him and Dean looked up into his face. His lips kiss swollen, cheeks red from the heat in the car and the heat between them. His eyes were blown wide with lust, but now there was sneaking in a little bit of insecurity as well. 

“Cas?” Dean asked hoarsely. 

Cas bit his lip and swallowed a few times. 

“It’s just… I’m not… I’m not as…um. Lean as you or Sam is.” He whispered. 

“What? Cas, you’re sexy as hell! Why would you even think otherwise?” Dean rubbed soothing circles over his back and Cas relaxed slowly into it. He didn’t say anything and eventually he reached down to pull the shirt over his head. He didn’t look up at first, like he was waiting for Dean to say something. When that didn’t happen he slowly lifted his eyes to meet Dean’s. 

“Come here, Cas. Let me kiss you.” Dean muttered before he pulled Cas close to meet his lips. 

Dean noticed how Cas tensed a little when he touched him again, but Dean kept kissing him insistently and it wasn’t long before Cas seemed to forget about his insecurities. His hips pushed down again and Dean moaned against Cas’ neck. 

Dean was already close to the edge when his jeans were opened and pushed down. A warm hand wrapped around his erection and Dean reached for the button in Cas’ pants and popped it open. Cas let out a soft gasp when Dean circled his hard cock and stroked it once. 

“Yes.” He hissed and both started stroking each other again. Cas pressed his lips against Dean’s neck and made small movements with his hips. Dean moved his other hand around Cas and pushed it down between his ass cheeks. Cas’ breath hitched and he let out a sinful moan. 

“Oh fuck.” Cas muttered. Dean sucked his fingers into his mouth to wet them and reached back around Cas. His movements started to get erratic and Dean circled his rim before he made a little push. 

“Dean. Feels so good.” Cas gasped. 

“Yeah? You want more? Want me to open you up on my fingers until you come?”

Cas was whimpering with Dean’s words and as he spoke Dean had pushed the first finger to the second knuckle. He thrust it in a couple of times before he carefully pushed in the second finger. 

“I’m gonna open you up and then when we get back you’ll be all ready for me to just bend you over and slide into you.” Dean’s voice was quiet and deep. 

Cas let out a series of ‘oh’s’ and before Dean had even managed to actually open him up Cas was tensing up and coming all over their stomachs. Dean thrust up into Cas’ hand a few times and came. 

“You’re still coming back with me, right?” Cas asked when they started breathing evenly again. Dean chuckled. 

“If that’s what you want?”

“I really do.” Cas rasped. 

 

Dean decided that being together with a college student wasn’t so bad. First of all he had a lot of time off. The whole summer, then some vacations in each semester. Then, since he was living in a dorm room with a crappy roommate he didn’t have that high expectations about this and that. So when Dean took Cas to a restaurant anything was fancy as long as it was better than a McDonalds or a diner and when they slept in a hotel Cas asked if they were rooming with the president. 

After their initial first insecurity had been worked past Dean finally got Cas eating burgers again, and if he eventually got back a little bit of chubbiness around his stomach Dean didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t stop touching him whenever they were naked.


End file.
